Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
