Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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