just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Pooping to opera.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
