Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
