I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
