I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
