Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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