hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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