I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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