Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
