But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
