i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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