Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
