just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
