I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
