We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
