I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
