I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
