he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
