The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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