I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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