I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
sarcasm needs its own font
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
