i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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