Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
