Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
There's always time for handjobs
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
