so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wanna go halves on a baby?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
