All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
