yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
