then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
