dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
