Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
