I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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