so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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