she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
