I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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