I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
