Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
