That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
