Me. At least after what I've been through.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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