You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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