D3 body, D1 cock
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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