Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
