My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
that may or may not have been my penis.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
