Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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