I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
