you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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