dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
