what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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