nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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