so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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