My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
