No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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