We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
